Have you ever found a piece of writing, an elegantly portayed painting, or perhaps a song which reaches out to you in a way you would not have expected? Possibly a poem, meant to be dark and serious, that makes you laugh uncontrollably each time you come across it? A song, from a particular genre or artist you’ve never really expressed anything but contempt for, giving you an utter sense of euphoria? A photograph, taken of a beautiful sunset complete with vibrant colors and allure the likes of which would normally bring you into a period of content, sets you into a feeling of worthlessness?
Each of these examples have, most likely, occured in your life. A short while ago, if I had been offered any type of music other than a form of outspoken punk-rock posers, poster-perfect lip-syncing divas or gun-sporting inarticulate rappers, I would have turned on my heel and left you to your assumptions of my character. I was, despite what many would say, very close-minded. I am still disgusted at my former mindset, but I blame it on the environment around me, and my habitual tendency to build a cocoon around myself.
I think I made the crucial change of character at the beginning of my last school year, which I suppose wasn’t really that long ago (though by now it has been over for three weeks). I know when I walked into my new school I was as shy as the moment I left my previous one, not knowing what to expect. It was most certainly a new experience for everyone in my year, and I simply followed their actions. I had the naïve impression that I was the only one who was overwhelmed by the change in atmosphere, and was overcome again by my weakness of over-dependence.
However, my reminiscence has overtaken my point: I adopted the character traits of those around me, which was naturally a sea of variants between excited, hyper and the odd addition of uncertainty. As the novelty had worn off for my peers, I still sported the immaturity and quick-humored personality from the beginning of the year. Nearly a month had passed at that point, and I hadn’t changed from my first turn of character. I quickly became a recognized person, not necessarily in a positive connotation, and I was known for my bubbly, jumpy and overall unpredictable personality. People whom I didn’t know knew me.
I made a great deal of friends, some of which have not survived the year. One who has, however, is Liz. I met her on the second day of the school year, while the hype of new experience continued to course through the student population. Her and I learned we had similar intrests, dislikes and timetables. I was introduced as well to her group of friends, which was considerably larger than the assortment of fair-weathers I had gathered. She also introduced me to a broader variety of music, something which had not been accomplished by even best friends from the past.
Some of the music includes My Chemical Romance, The Arrogant Worms, and older Green Day material. I have since been able to rationalize my decisions, think through my criticisms, and develop a whole new and much more successful attitude towards life. As much as there is credit I must give to parents, teachers, and various other groups of people, there is only one major gratitude I owe.
Liz, you and everyone else at the lunchtable have really helped me recognize who I should be, whether it was advertently or not. Thank you very much, and I hope I have a lasting friend in you.
To anyone else reading this, I’m sorry for the disorganized qualities I’ve given this entry. The questions I asked at the beginning did have a meaning: your personality, attitude and outlook can change with very little or no notice at all. If and when that happens (or happened) in your life, I hope a good friend was there for you, and always will be.
Thank you for reading my entry to the end, though it doesn’t matter to me how many people come across my writing. I just hope that those who do will use it to their benefit, if they can. These were just a few fleeting thoughts…